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This afternoon, my wife phoned me to complain she really didn’t like discovering I had accidentally put a stain on one of her Twilight books. She promised retribution.

When I came home, as of usual, my computer was already running. This is only a few hours later that I understood the damage she had done.

THIS was my emo desktop ¬_¬
– with the promise that whenever I leave home this next week, the desktop will be back.

ew, eeeew


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orcoferoz
orcoferoz

Dont mess whit the emo vampires, sorry man

Blaatschaap
Blaatschaap

Your wife is very evil. I almost feel sorry for you.

fbomb
fbomb

She didn't arrange the desktop icons to form a heart? Weak. Tell her to try a little harder next time she tries to emo your stuff out. LOL BTW, did she add icons, or…?

Power
Power

The evil woman installed win98 on your pc?!

Lil t
Lil t

hahaha,, hang in there, boss ;)

maturd
maturd

hahaha, sorry but it is hilarious.

jilliefoo
jilliefoo

noooooooooo Cruel!!!!

Joleil

Oh my gosh. This' worst than japanese censorship. Sacrilege!

skychapter
skychapter

Your wife is cruel.

dato000
dato000

I don't know how vote for this…sucks and is really funny

well, maybe she wants to tell you something…

please stop been a fu***ng emo maybe??? hahahahahahhhahaha or maybe she wants you as an a emokid (remember: kill emo!)

too bad…but good!!! hahaahjaakjakjajj

dato000
dato000

I don't know how vote for this…sucks and is really funny

well, maybe she wants to tell you something…

please stop been a fu***ng emo maybe??? hahahahahahhhahaha or maybe she wants you as an a emokid (remember: kill emo!)

too bad…but good!!! hahaahjaakjakjajj

Ero-Otoko

Thanks for reminding me that being single and living alone has its advantages. Good luck.

Also, I hear those books get rather 'adult' later in the series. So hey, you might consider caving in a reading them. Then who knows? In a couple months you find yourself making another website for your Twilight lemon fanfics.

TheyCallMeTomu
TheyCallMeTomu

It’s your fault for going against the will of the woman! You fool! Accept your Bishounen punishment like a MAN!

k-D
k-D

aww man she got you!

Blargh
Blargh

<_<…. what kind of stain?…

Itsit
Itsit

You could try locking the screen. Or runnung a script in the background/startup/a scheduled task that changes the wallpaper periodically. You can take the “change wallpaper” authorization from the user.

Or not running the windows shell (there’s alternative graphical shells). there’s also not running windows altogether, it can get real funny watching someone trying to make sense of a tiling window manager (awsome, xmonad, ratpoison, etc.)

Or you could get her another copy of the book and a “I’m sorry I stained your book”. Bonus points if it’s the same edition (or a better one) than the stained book.

Railgunner

HAHAHAHA
wow hold on chief! it's time to payback

Muf
Muf

Je me suis retrouvé avec des rugbymen a moitié a poil en économiseur d'écran sur mon PC apres que ma femme ait moyennement apprecié la blonde plantureuse qui posait lascivement sur mon fond d'écran. ça fait un choc de messieurs tout nu et huilés sur son PC…

skyboy
skyboy

Maybe I am not in your shoes, so I found your wife's retribution is quite lovely.
Did she spend a lot of time to form the heart?

Scuba
Scuba

my goodness your desktop is a mess.

Nakajitos
Nakajitos

That's nothing. I went on a tirade about how crappy the series was in front of my niece, and she retaliated by forcing me to watch both of the damn movies.

Now I know what Vietnam was like… it was hell….

kokie
kokie

Man , I should feel sorry for you but…

Chili
Chili

Dump the Bitch

Kurawa
Kurawa

your wife it's a Tsundere LOL
i think you should spoiled her ^^

mputtr
mputtr

this is quite simply the concept of the word: O W N E D
I would probably kill my gf is she attempted that.

that or i will change her desktop to something that will make her puke more than a just pregnant woman..

OverlordofROCK
OverlordofROCK

Wow, your wife is pretty hardocore about Twilight, isn't she?
No worries Oliver, at least it's not as bad as being forced to READ the books.

OverlordofROCK
OverlordofROCK

Wow, your wife is pretty hardocore about Twilight, isn't she?
No worries Oliver, at least it's not as bad as being forced to READ the books.

Jags
Jags

Well at least Your Computer is still Kickin 'eh Boss?

Anonymous
Anonymous

ok, Harry Potter are all the rage for kids, Twilight are for girls and young women who're obsessed about it and us guys are [ insert book preference ].

I've been visiting/downloading from this website for just over two years and I am surprised that you are french, your desktop is french, Windows 2000? I got nothing against french, I'm french canadian myself. Keep up the great work and buy your wife something she loves (chocolates, flowers, anything that would calm her down), a little distraction wouldn't hurt.

Anonymous
Anonymous

ok, Harry Potter are all the rage for kids, Twilight are for girls and young women who're obsessed about it and us guys are [ insert book preference ].

I've been visiting/downloading from this website for just over two years and I am surprised that you are french, your desktop is french, Windows 2000? I got nothing against french, I'm french canadian myself. Keep up the great work and buy your wife something she loves (chocolates, flowers, anything that would calm her down), a little distraction wouldn't hurt.

Just passing through
Just passing through

That's a low blow! I'd like to tell you to retaliate but clearly, your wife is not to be trifled with! ;)
Just laugh it off and remember that it could have been worse, she could have formated your computer and left nothing but the damn movie on your hd!

George
George

at least she didnt delete your hentai :D

krys
krys

I've never been tempted to comment.. except that one time when you asked if girls do visit your site, and i didn't cave in..

this one time though, i just have to say… your wife made me laugh. :D
and you're lucky she's not that evil and not a rabid fan girl. :P

Matou
Matou

Je n’en reviens pas. Tellement de commentaires et pas un seul qui connaisse les deux seules vraies solutions face à ce tels extrêmes de cruauté!

* Laisser le fond d’écran du chaos pour accélérer le retour au calme de l’emo vengeresse ou…

* Désactiver l’auto-login de Windows, changer le mot de passe, et verrouiller la session du PC lorsqu’il n’y a personne devant.

Ces commentaires montrent tout le chemin qui reste à faire pour apprend les bases de la sécurité informatique aux habitués de Windows…

reddwarf
reddwarf

Well, coulda been a lot worse — she could have set the desktop to one of the photos of these happy couples: http://www.manofest.com/Content/15-horrifying-cou

][CEMAN
][CEMAN

rofl
time to set a password on your PC

Jack
Jack

Wow. I… I'm so sorry Oliver… I feel bad for you. Good luck with that.

Simply Guest
Simply Guest

What a horrid thing to do. It's just Twilight, the series that has killed the vampire mythos forever. "Sparkly Vampires" *shudder*

Cloneyourloverz
Cloneyourloverz

Woaw emo pownage…hang in there boss^^

Definite non-Twihard
Definite non-Twihard

Twilight is, in my opinion, an orgy of Mary Sues and Purple Prose.

Just wondering, has your wife read Breaking Dawn?

Not that I mean any offense, but it's just so easy to lump all Twilight fans into the 'Brain-dead' category. I do know a fair share of smart people who happen to like the series, but they disappear from my mind so easily when I think of how brain-searingly bad Stephanie Meyer's writing is. Heck, even THE (Stephen) King said Meyer sucks at writing.

Check this out for a buncha good laughs – http://www.cracked.com/funny-36-twilight/

lollan
lollan

She's not a person to be messed with lol

Oliver's wife
Oliver's wife

It was a just reward for killing my Twilight book by mistake with couscous sauce two days ago !!!

(just because he read it in my back for the second time, after he had read the 5 books – including midnight sun draft !!! )

@ Definite non-Twihard : great site, it's a good description ! LOL

Definite non-Twihard
Definite non-Twihard

Couscous sauce on your book? That's fairly negligible damage, considering I've watched someone blow holes in a Twilight book with a magnum o.0 (and yeah, he was laughing all crazy-like the whole time)

Anyways, all this, it ain't no big deal in the end. People like something, people hate something, it's unavoidable that these petty conflicts of interest happen. That's life for ya =/

P.S. Glad to see ya liked the page ^_^

HellSpawn
HellSpawn

A Kick In the BALLS IN PUBLIC would have been much less embracing.

Oh God! the HoRROR, owwoh I remember when fried by brain by reading the first book, and never read the LAst three Twatlights.

teo
teo

hehe at the post above ^

Morteplume
Morteplume

Les femmes sont si diaboliques !
Elles savent comment s'y prendre pour que l'on ne répète pas nos erreurs ^^

Ascheriit
Ascheriit

I read the entire series for some odd reason and I regret it. Your wife…damn she had a nice payback.
The movies are hell.

ninabwoy972

this is really cruel worse, way worse that the censorship lol (and yes my mom like the book but eh movies are crap)

ninabwoy972

this is really cruel worse, way worse that the censorship lol (and yes my mom like the book but eh movies are crap)

Andriv
Andriv

LOL!! now that's a cruel retribution!! I concurr that the movies are just some emo crap… I actually define them as a story about a stalker vampire and the horny chick xp

nut lee
nut lee

Just keep it as your wallpaper but photoshop Blade with his silver sword into the background

BladeTard#1337
BladeTard#1337

THERE IS NO SHAME IN WANTING BLADE TO COME OUT AND SLAY EDWARD!

guest1
guest1

Two words: Return Fire.

edman
edman

Wow, that's cruel o_O

SukebeKai
SukebeKai

Why not put a password on the comp? >_>

Anon
Anon

Screen saver password. but if you do it she'll do something even nastier.

Sir you're nasty, scaling down the rez of the ss i cant see much except :
Open office
chrome
emule
winrar
Qt (?)
avast
firefox
thunderbird
mtorrent
picasa
safari

I cannot identify any other icons.. anyone else who can see anything new?

sen
sen

Oh my God, your wife is cruel. The series are plain horrible, I had the feeling that I´m reading a book written by a teenager and the movies are equally boring and perfect for little girls (sparkly, sensitive and beatiful vampire falls in love with a plain girl….every girl´s dream…riiighht)
By the way I´m female and if I ever have the chance to meet the Bella and Edward actors I will beat them to a bloody pulp. I´m sorry but all this crap and the obsessed fans made me really aggressive.

warau_onna
warau_onna

hahaha!!! damn! so messy….but im not a Twilight fan so its worth it for me! LOL

Xrex

Look to all this comments…..:O
heheh…..lo0ol….
too clean those desktop…:P…..
cya…..

Maxwell
Maxwell

Wow, hilarious and horrifying at the same time. Lock the computer down, cause I know I'd hate to continually see that.

Grimmace
Grimmace

NOOOO!!! MY EYES!!!

Ale

thats what you get when you make a woman angry :P

Loler
Loler

Dude, might have a solution for you. Go to google image search, type kitten, choose what you think is the most sickeningly cute picture and use it as your desktop. If she can bring herself to change it you should check if she still has a pulse. ;D

Definite non-Twihard
Definite non-Twihard

@ sen: Didja know Robert Pattinson, the guy who stars as Edward, actually signed up just to hit on the chick who stars as Bella? He had no idea of what was in store for him, and he actually said that he hates every second of it and acts his worst as Sparklypants (which oddly seems have the opposite effect).

Don't punch his face off, give him your sympathies.

Definite non-Twihard
Definite non-Twihard

Oh wait – turns out Kristen Stewart hates starring as Bella as well.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/11/everyone_love

Andate
Andate

Yikes indeed. I couldn't read past the first book (sparkly vampires?) and the movies are indecently horrible. I think retribution must be had for this insult. But who know what she would do next? A desktop of Edward and the werewolf kissing (forgot the wolf's name…) Scary.

muktard
muktard

get pc locker so it locks your pc with password when you leave you have to type in or else screen stays blank that way she cant change your desktop

Xami
Xami

I feel soooo sorry for you Oliver : /
What a horrible thing to do! :O

Phoebe
Phoebe

Happy desktop cleaning…lol

B was here ^_^
B was here ^_^

Wowies….she got you good…look at the bright side…it could have been worst, I'm not a twilight fan and I'm a female! THEY DESTROY THE IDEA OF A VAMPIRE!!!! OFF WITH THEIR HEAD! Also to Oliver's wife bravo! You got him back yet with a 'kill him softly' touch. to Oliver you know what to do next time….be more careful cause you won't know what she'll do to ya next…..

B was here ^_^
B was here ^_^

Wowies….she got you good…look at the bright side…it could have been worst, I'm not a twilight fan and I'm a female! THEY DESTROY THE IDEA OF A VAMPIRE!!!! OFF WITH THEIR HEAD! Also to Oliver's wife bravo! You got him back yet with a 'kill him softly' touch. to Oliver you know what to do next time….be more careful cause you won't know what she'll do to ya next…..

Darth_MAM
Darth_MAM

Maannn women can surpass us in cruelty… thats a bloody fact.
Still be gratefull that you only had to see one picture I got to see a hole movie of something EVEN WORSE!!!
Near sep of 2008 I was with some friends and we decided to go to the cinema, we were 5 in total, 3 women and 2 guys… we were losing from the begginig… as we finally arrive to the place and seconds after I read the list of movies ''I felt a disturbance in the force''… they were playing MAMA MIA the movie… I quickly sugested to watch THE TRAITOR or any other movie but that… sadly my effort was in vaine… the girl alredy decided to watch mamamia and the other guy betrayed me and agreed with them(either he was gay or wanted to score with the ladys… of course he FAILED… )…… the horror I suffered was… argh…
2 BLOODY HOURS OF CHEAP MUSICAL WITH A STUPID PLOT, INCLUDING A TOTALLY AIRHEADED BLONDE AS A PROTAGONIST…. ARRRGHHHHHH
There was a part were I had lost the micerable amount of sanity that I had left… the protagonist was with her fiance on the beach, SINGING of couser, and they finally seemed like they were going to get laid. and I said "finally something good to see, only I wish that the girl had more bust, but well what the hell", but then a bunch of guys apeared from no were and separated them and they began to SING AND DANCE like the VILLIAGE PEOPLE…. I mentally broke down… THE HOROOORRR!!!

And really look for the bright side at least she didn't triked or forced you to watch the film… not like me or this guy http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/473402 … And better be sure to never mess up with her cult, again…
Wow that was gutt to get it out from the chest… thanks and sorry for what you got to suffer… Keep the hard work and… BE AWARE, BE AFRAID, BE SAFE!!