Todd Akin strikes again. How do the Republicans manage to get electors to vote for them in the USA, I wonder !

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By Oliver (AKA the Admin) on 30 comments
in Categories: Just Talking

Remember Todd Akin, the American representative who blatantly told women could only be impregnated if this was not a rape, because their bodies allowed them to refuse to be fecundated if they didn’t love having sex, hence all raped women seeking abortion were just lying hypocrites and there was no reason not to forbid abortion ? (the last part was self-implied)

He’s at it again.

I wasn’t very surprised when I read this, this is the saddest part. I laughed till I shed tears.

Read carefully. Oh, and you may, as I did, take advantage of this to discover/rediscover Poe’s Law :o

Edit: This isn’t real. Don’t take it seriously.

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Oliver AKA The Admin
Admin
11 years ago

I was planning to reward today the best censorship pictures, but then I remembered this Todd Akin stuff, and I found more "amusing" to share it. The censorship rewards will be tomorrow :)

Oliver AKA The Admin
Admin
11 years ago

And, yes, this is just a parody. But I laughed hyper hard before I realized it was one, HYPER HARD.

And then I was thrilled to discover Poe's law : indeed, when we deal with a stupid extremist, it's not possible to tell truth from tale, unless it's written "parody" in the upper-right corner of a website or you see a big blinking emoticon :o

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago

At least I know why I'm not gay now! I was breastfed until I was 5!

Also, > Implying the winner isn't obviously ADeadGuy.

Jagra67
11 years ago

Hi !
I´m not gay, just a Hentai perv, but if Clhoe Vevrier is avaiable (besides the fact that she is from germany), I like to try this 4 weeks treatment;

Dont know I´m gonna keep a hentai perv, but I´ll be a happier man…

PS – accomplishing Poe´s law, this is a Joke :D

4rcane
4rcane
11 years ago

because one man mistake is not the mistake of a group. If that is so, then Akin's mistake it the mistake of all humans

jelescubogdan
jelescubogdan
11 years ago
Reply to  4rcane

His mistake IS the mistake of a group because if the republicans didn't already remove him from w/e his position is right now (I'm sorry but I don't know how US politics work) then that means they support him. And after what he said about females last time he should be removed.

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago
Reply to  jelescubogdan

No, we cannot impeach members of the Senate or the House of Representatives. Only Congress (the thing made up of the Senate and the House) can impeach other members of Congress, and that’s only if 2/3rds of the members agree to it. Todd Akin makes Republicans look like fucking morons, so why would the Democrats EVER want to remove him despite how beneficial it would be to the country as a whole? Neither party actually gives a shit about the country AT ALL (despite what they say, if you actually believe that you’re as retarded as Todd Akin), they just want to make money and increase the size of their wallets.

Having said that, when time comes to vote for Todd Akin to get into the Senate, I hope Missouri Democrats don’t just be trolls/faggots and vote him in. Same for when it comes time to get renominated for his position in the House, assuming he loses the Senate race.

Also, people replying to this post don’t seem to know how the US government elections work. (Not you, jelescubogdan. I appreciate your honesty in admitting you have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m referring to the rest of the people posting here.) The members of the Senate/House are voted ONLY BY THE STATE THEY REPRESENT, in this case Missouri. Todd Akin was voted in by the people of Missouri. Please do NOT blame other Republicans for the retardation of the Missouri populace as a whole (YES, THIS DOES INCLUDE DEMOCRATS, believe it or not, not everyone votes for the party they are affiliated with, some people vote for the person they believe is better suited for the job out of the two – which makes me wonder how worse Ted House, Arthur Lieber, Steve Mosbacher and Patrick M. Cannon were. Then again, NORMALLY stuff like “legitimate rape” and “breastmilk cures faggots” – ignoring the fact it was never actually said in the first place, this Daily Currant article is a fake, IE. Todd Akin NEVER ACTUALLY SAID THIS, IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED – wouldn’t be mentioned until after you’re elected, I mean why would you want to upset people and lose the election? He must be experiencing some sort of mental breakdown.)

Can you all please stop bad mouthing my country until you learn how it actually fucking works? FFS, cdddddddddddddd (who I’m well aware is a troll, but I’m still going to acknowledge and respond to anyway – mostly because I’m 108% sure people actually think this in real life) is claiming Americans are imbeciles, but he (and anyone who agrees with him) is just as bad (if not worse, because he’s being called out on it by one of these “imbeciles”) for being ignorant of how the system fucking works. Jesus tapdancing Christ.

One more thing: Have any of you even heard of Todd Akin prior to his rape statement? I sure as shit know I didn’t. I had to find out all of this information in this post just now on Google. Had he never said that, none of you would know who the fuck he is. The media (which is predominantly Democratic) latched on to it because they need to make Republicans look bad for the upcoming United States Presidential Elections since they currently have nothing they can use against Mitt Romney or Paul Ryan (aside from stupid shit like him not revealing his taxes, why is that any of our business anyway? What next, you want his fucking social security number?). I mean, it’s not nice what he said and he should be exiled for it, but he’s already apologized (as I’m sure he would have done for this as well had it actually happened, I wouldn’t be surprised if he DID make a response to it nonetheless) so why the fuck haven’t they dropped it yet? They’re STILL reporting on it like it just happened ten seconds ago. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. I get it already. He’s a fucking retard. Move. The. Fuck. On. Stop making fun of the mentally handicapped, it’s not nice.

inb4downvoteseveryfuckingwhereforspeakingthetruth

Fuck, why did I even write this? I don’t even like the country I live in, I’d rather be in Japan.

Kbot
Kbot
11 years ago
Reply to  HurpDurp

Well put. This reminds me a lot of Alvin Greene, the Democratic candidate for US Senate in 2010. First, it was a total surprise that he won because he was a total unknown who didn't campaign or raise any money. Then the day after he won the primary he was charged with felony obscenity for flashing porn at a 18-year old college girl in attempts to seduce her (he was 31 at the time) . The Dems all wanted him to drop out, but he didn't and nobody had the power of undoing an election. Greene ended up losing by 34%.

Akins is an idiot who should drop out (he wasn't even the best candidate in the primary) and every member of the national party has suggested he do so. But he won't because he's a prideful idiot. Even if he somehow wins I don't know what he plans to accomplish, no Senator in either party would dare work with him.
The GOP did the only thing they can do: cut off all his funding from the party. But what they need to do is find a write-in candidate to oppose him like they did in Alaska in 2010 with Lisa Murkowski.

duslivinit
duslivinit
11 years ago
Reply to  HurpDurp

Thank you. I was going to post something similar but I would have just been mad and it would have been a wall of text that would blind everyone. :D

duslininit
duslininit
11 years ago
Reply to  duslivinit

funny thing is I just checked the link to his "todds comments" it says service unavailable.
woops xD

fefifofum
fefifofum
11 years ago
Reply to  HurpDurp

There's PLENTY to attack Romney and Ryan on. Notably the fact that Romney will not reveal his proposed policies and Ryan's budget plan.

If Obama can be attacked because of who Californians are electing (i.e. Pelosi), why can't Republicans be attacked for who they are sharing their beds with. They, as a party, support an anti-abortion position that makes no exceptions for rape or incest. Akin's comment was a uber-fail attempt at justifying that position. I understand that Romney himself does not share that position (he is in favor of said exceptions) but he just gave the closing speech at the RNC . You can't completely distance yourself from the flag you have chosen to drape yourself in.

My biggest problem with Republicans is their insistence on including religion in politics despite the fact that they run against most Christian ideals (the Jesus Christ ones) and their shameless attempt at reducing democracy in their own country by striking down campaign finance laws and enacting voter-ID laws despite the fact that in-person voter fraud is scientifically insignificant.

DrtyBird
DrtyBird
11 years ago

"Lesbians can be cured by drinking something else," Akin replied "I'll leave that one to your imagination."

Did he just suggest that lesbians should drink semen? God I wish I lived in Mizzou so that I could contribute to not voting him in. And this is coming from a guy on the House SCIENCE Committee.

DrtyBird
DrtyBird
11 years ago
Reply to  DrtyBird

Heh you got me. But he's still on the House Science Committee. :(

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago
Reply to  DrtyBird

…Are you replying to yourself? :V

DrtyBird
DrtyBird
11 years ago
Reply to  HurpDurp

No I realized that I was seriously commenting on a satirical piece without knowing it was satirical. Without the ability to edit my post I figured replying to it would help clear things up.

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago
Reply to  DrtyBird

Oh. Well you didn't specifically say "Oliver", so I didn't realize you were talking to him :(

jelescubogdan
jelescubogdan
11 years ago
Reply to  HurpDurp

LOL!!

rikandur
rikandur
11 years ago

Some people are just that much lonely HurpDurp.

cdddddddddddddd
cdddddddddddddd
11 years ago

Americans are fucking imbiciles, that is how the Republican party gets votes. The whole damn nation is a bane to the world.

jelescubogdan
jelescubogdan
11 years ago

He is right. Not all are such idiots. But most of them are. Sadly, I can say the same about my people. S**t, we live in a f**ked up world.

Eldryn
Eldryn
11 years ago

Not all Americans. Just most of those who have been elected or appointed…

UNCLE SAM
UNCLE SAM
11 years ago

Look, let me get this shit straight: you jap-chinks don't understand peanuts about real life. See, the only thing that drives people to this site here is god-damn rape. Hentai is good because there is lots of rape, not because girls with big-ass-eyes and unreal forms are "art". So, one thing that upsets me is this gay-jap shit about "oh this is rape I hate it". See, fuckers, I was stationed to Japan when I was in the Army, and jap chicks were crazy to fuck Americans because, 1st, WE GOT BIG HUGE DICKS, while japs got baby little fingers instead, 2nd, we Americans KNOW HOW TO BANG A GIRL, and are not little-kids-love-doves like japs. Girls like to get spanked, and like to get fucked hard, they like to get slapped and get called names, they were born to it and not to "I love you" high schoolers shit. This I love you shit is for faggots and gays like japs in general. That said, you are such a gay country, with no manly men, that you were the only country in the world that WE RAPED WITH TWO NUKES and you did nothing, just become our friends, and let we build military bases there and go fuck your VERY WILLING women. If we had nuked Afghanistan or any other muslim country they would be fucking terrorizing us, because I FOUGHT THOSE MOFOS and they are MEN, THEY HAVE COURAGE, HONOR AND A SPINE, things japs don't have.
See, keep playing your fucking videogames, talking about love, and masturbating to anime, while your girls'pussies crave the AMERICAN MAN DICK and to get BANGED SENSELESS AND HARD.
You fuckers are not even a country, you are a bunch of losers that got gangraped in the ass by OUR MILITARY, with your Emperor sucking MacArthur's cock in the, you know what? USS MOTHERFUCKING M-I-S-S-O-U-R-I.
I hope the Chinese take your fucking little islands and gangrape you, you bunch of shit.
And I hope the little fag that runs this site post my reply, as he posted the fucking samurai bitch comment talking shit about Americans. We have the right to defend ourselves against your loser scum.

Oliver AKA The Admin
Admin
11 years ago
Reply to  UNCLE SAM

Don't worry, I'm gladly posting your comment all around. You're such an embarrassment to all Americans, it would be a shame not to tease my American pals :D

Ghost
Ghost
11 years ago

I resent that comment on americans. we are not all imbiciles just anyone that votes republican. I'm sorry to say this includes my members of my own family though.

kantami
kantami
11 years ago

this man is a genius, he should be given his on t.v show.
he’s like bush and prince philip rolled into one.

No Man
No Man
11 years ago

I just wanted you guys to know, Akin got a $100,000 donation from a Political Action Commitee that has historically only ever donated to Democrats (Harry Reid, D-Nevada specifically). I can't be arsed to look the name up right now, but suffice it to say, Akin is a good thing for Democrats the same way Biden is for Republicans.

Eldryn
Eldryn
11 years ago

I think old Todd here is the Poster Child for Mark Twain's comment, "It's better to keep ones mount shut and be thought a fool, than open it and remove all doubt"

Eldryn
Eldryn
11 years ago
Reply to  Eldryn

That's "mouth shut"…

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago
Reply to  Eldryn

I see what you did right there.

HurpDurp
HurpDurp
11 years ago

SUM MOAR
http://dailycurrant.com/2012/08/30/bill-nye-blasthttp://dailycurrant.com/2012/08/29/todd-akin-blam

NOW PEOPLE CAUSE HURRICANES FUCK YEAR, I'M GONNA GO OUT AND RAPE A BUNCH OF LESBIANS FORCE THEM TO DRINK MY SPERM SO I CAN END THE WORLD AND CURE THEIR HOMOSEXUALITY ALL AT THE SAME TIME! AND THEY WON'T GET PREGNANT IF I ACCIDENTALLY LET LOOSE INSIDE CUZ HURRDURR THEY BE GETTAN RAPED DURRHURR

Fuck, that website sucks ass. Too many people think this shit is true. And apparently most of them are Democrats because they're saying how stupid Republicans are.

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