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About yesterday’s plea for help, regarding my wife’s breast augmentation…

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So… Yeah. About my post of yesterday, in which I’m asking for help, money donations, in order to pay for my wife’s breast augmentation…

While I most sincerely thank all who offered to help, I want to share a funny piece of ASCII art with you, why don’t you check it out… ? ;)

                   ,__
                   |  `'.
__           |`-._/_.:---`-.._
\='.       _/..--'`__         `'-._
 \- '-.--"`      ===        /   o  `',
  )= (                 .--_ |       _.'
 /_=.'-._             {=_-_ |   .--`-.
/_.'    `\`'-._        '-=   \    _.'
    jgs  )  _.-'`'-..       _..-'`
        /_.'        `/";';`|
                     \` .'/
                      '--'

Update : no way, so, it would seem, the fish only means April’s Fools Joke in a few countries ?!?


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Oliver AKA The Admin

I'll add another note, maybe, a few of you guys, and I say it without intending to be rude or annoying, didn't look very smart. I read a number of times, more or less, this : "it's not already the 1st of april where I live, so apparently this isn't a joke" or "it's not april's first, the joke's on you Oliver".
— Seriously ?!?
First : read the timestamp on top of the post. Second : even if there were no timestamp (what if I lived in the very first time zone switching dates, eh ?), you mustn't be too "myself-centric", guys, there are people living elsewhere or under different conditions, you know, this will definitely play you nasty tricks in the future O_o

Conan
Conan

I forgot to mention this in the last post… if there WAS a way to get crowdfunding for breast surgery, would it be called Titstarter?

Also, I was the little fish…

Oliver AKA The Admin

Loved that one :D

roadkill
roadkill

Lol!!

MHM
MHM

GAME B) ….. SET B) B) ….. MATCH POINT B) B) B)

Chronos
Chronos

*sigh* Oliver, it took me a full minute after reading the comments to see that I was fooled…but I was being serious about counting your loses. Do know that I’m fully aware of the fact that you’re happy with your wife as she is, but I’ve been in more than enough relationships where the girl worries about her appearance. I have a big breast fetish, but also a preggo fetish, a harem fetish, a femdom fetish, a dark skin (or just a foreign woman in general) fetish, and despite it being morally and legal wrong, a straight shotacon fetish. Out of all of those, only two or three of those might be possible (the one I want satisfied the most is the preggo fetish *drools*)

Bottom line is this: if you really want a titfuck but your wife’s breasts aren’t big enough, just throw your arms in the air and call it quits. As much as we wish it, not every desire can be satisfied (unless you like ntr, mind break, or rape. But most of those people end up in areas where the same happens to them so lulz). Right now I’m in a steady relationship with a nice girl…er woman, who has a fair body and who doesn’t give a care about the influences or my fetishes (except the preggo :D)

Nevertheless, write down the pros and cans of this matter if you’re really thinking about it. Then make the decision. That is, if you were being honest.

Best of regards,

Cronos, or the Time-Keeper Who Can’t Really Do His Job

Oliver AKA The Admin

Yeah, I know, there's no other option but calling quits. But I can call it quits with a laugh :D

FailBoatInSpace
FailBoatInSpace

I got a few words for you Oliver,

Air pump bra, and boob job with said bra on. The air pockets in the bra gives not only gives the look and feel of a larger cup size to your wifes breasts, but it also gives extra squeeze to your member while its nestled between.

Granted, it's not perfect cause her breasts will be covered the whole time, but it works if you're not too picky. And make sure you don't get too rough or it'll rip the seems on the air pockets.

Googler
Googler

So, Oliver will stay a tittyfuck virgin forever?

Oliver AKA The Admin

Most likely :/

Except in my dreams. Thanks to hentai artists like Millefeuille.

Chochobo
Chochobo

knew it, but oliver, seriously, if your wife needed implants I would've donated if you agreed to show a pic of the before and after shots, you could even crop out her head if you wanted too, i'd be fine with all that

S.C.
S.C.

Well, aren't you desperate.

Oliver AKA The Admin

My wife. My boobs.

So to say ^^;;

kain_o_insano
kain_o_insano

I wish that one day I can achieve your level of artistic skill Oliver. I can only dream.,.

Oliver AKA The Admin

If you were referring to the fucked up fish, that was because of a layout issue, the fish looked horrible when shown on hentairules.net/ but looked perfectly fine when you opened the present post ( hentairules.net/present-post-precise-url/ ). I forced opening of the present post to see the fish, so now it will be ok ^^

WTFantastico
WTFantastico

"le poisson d'avril" I can dig it. :)

ianfo
ianfo

Well that was stupid.

And what the fuck is this other guy rambling about his life for?

Oliver AKA The Admin

Irritating people without a sense of humour that I love is one of the sweetest, most cherishable activities of life :)

Demonik
Demonik

Hmm… this year is breast augmentation. Last year was the Federal Bureau of Fapping warning…. Notes to self: 1.) Develope internal monolouge 2.) Set many alarms for April first, and that Oliver has very few inhabitions about toying with his guests….

Oliver AKA The Admin

You also missed the Sale Day, Bieber Fandom and Loliguro years :3

Atlas
Atlas

Oliver, I think that's a reference only the French readers of this blog will catch…!

Oliver AKA The Admin

Really ?

No, I mean, seriously ? Isn't that international ?

Hands Solo
Hands Solo

Indeed. April Fish … huh … what?

Its a large and strange world, isnt it?

Atlas
Atlas

Really. I mean, I know it just because I happened to study French for several years in high school (I'm Spanish). So far, I've never heard any reference to the poisson d'avril in English countries.

Hammilton
Hammilton

Yeah, never heard of the fish here in the US.

Also, ever discussed having an open relationship? Might be your only way to get a tit job.

Caesar
Caesar

I hate to burst your fantasy, but I think titjob has taken a pedastol place in your heart, because they are not all that arousing or pleasurable. Even large breast don't create enough friction and it is basically sex with flabs. I was not at all impressed.

Maybe you would like it, but for me it just wasn't really anything.

hallebuba
hallebuba

I totally agree to that, even if it's for everyone it's own. But it really lacks the needed pressure. Maybe on this regard tits are just TOO soft ^^

Hentai Addict
Hentai Addict

Have to disagree with you there. Paizuri, titfuck, titjob, whatever you want to call it… is great. In order of preference – doggystyle, blowjob, titfuck. Seriously, if the girl (my wife) holds them up a bit, I can squeeze and squeeze and thrust and thrust… I fucking love paizuri.

They need to be well lubricated, though, nevermind what you see in hentai (manga and anime) or other porn.

But then, if you don't like it, then you don't like it.

Ecchineko
Ecchineko

Well, there's a saying about eating herring, and drinking dirt water on top of it in Finland, when it comes to April's Fool. So, you French folks aren't totally alone in this one. ^^
And, for once, I didn't fall on the jokes. Glad I browsed hentairules first. :p Took me half a minute, then checked on the date. *Bling*
Nice one, though, Oli. ;D

Jasta85
Jasta85

Oliver, didn't your wife get a size increase when she had the baby a while back? Usually women increase a couple sizes due to all the breast milk. Should have seized the moment and made use of them back then.

Or you could have another kid and get her breasts filled up again, just don't tell her that's the reason :)

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

Oh, Oli. Will your antics ever end? The answer to this inquiry is an emphatic 'hell naw.' I could tell from the get go: 'this asshole. This is by far one of the worst April Fools yet.' Year after year, you plague us with prank after prank. Let's face it, guys. He's may be an asshole, but he's our asshole. <3

Cheers, sir, and who knows. Maybe one day your wife may aid to your 'virginity,' in some way. Keep the faith(yes, in tits) and in good things to happen, in time.

Oliver AKA The Admin

Haha, thanks mr NippleClamps ! ^^

To be frank, I find the lack of april's fools jokes appalling, I dream of an internet on which everybody throws his horrible prank on that day. I usually feel far too much alone in doing this :(

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

I'd throw in my two cents, but alas. Nipple clamps, man. WHICH I'M STILL WAITING ON, BY THE BY. WITH THE CAR BATTERIES.

Man's gotta' clamp 'n shock what a man's gotta' clamp 'n shock.

Who knows, maybe you can get Hurp to join in on the antics. I don't know, audio post of someone we'd never expect hear, which tuns out to be the sound of something horrid and vile. Just giving out suggestions.

And you know what? Screw what I said before. May you remain a titfuck virgin for all time. :l

Lubs joo~<3 =]8D>

HurpDurp
HurpDurp

Wait, wat.

You want me to record myself doing ecchi things? ಠ_ಠ

Is it weird that this is not the first time I've been asked that.. this week.

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

1. No. It isn't weird. At all. </sarcasm>

And

2. I wasn't asking YOU to record yourself doing ecchi things. Just, posting about an audio being made, something people may have wanted to be made into an audio, but then it turns out to be something dreadful. I'm also not implying you sound dreadful or anything.

But hey, if you want to, then, why the hell not? Maybe you'll get called in to do some voices in hentais.

One never knows.

HurpDurp
HurpDurp

Implying they still dub hentai.

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

Dubbing? HA. Hell no. All you do is:

1. Show up and lean into mic.
2. Breathe heavily. Moan. Gasp.
3. Yell iku.
4. ???
5. Profit.

And den yo' in da' monies. Yo' in da' monies~

HurpDurp
HurpDurp

Oh, you mean in Japan? Only problem is getting the money to get to Japan D:

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

Well, you're in luck. A certain asshole who tends to fuck with his community on an annual basis just got a bit of cash when he posted a terrible joke.

Talk to that guy. :l

HurpDurp
HurpDurp

But clicking that button just took you to the Paypal main page, not a donate page D:

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

Well, talk to him anyway. He can give up his beer money for a few months.

Oliver AKA The Admin

That didn't earn me a single buck, Brook. And yet, if I wanted to pay you nipple clamps and the industrial battery you're asking for, I'd need more money than that.

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

Well, that isn't our problem. That's your problem. You now owe me nipple clamps and car batteries, and Hurp here is relying on you for his soaring career as an Hentai VA.

You can go without beer for, oh. A few years. -laughing his ass off by this point-

Oliver AKA The Admin

Hey, laughing at someone's overweight problem isn't polite, and my love for beer is irrelevant, you bloody nipple masochist ! :D

BrookTheEcchi
BrookTheEcchi

That's nipple sadist, good sir. -_0 Also, where the fuck did you get the overweight problem from? >_> I think you're love for beer is more so relevant now than ever. You're probably buzzed. : Even more reason to give up that money to Hurp for his VA career. OR MY FUCKING NIPPLE CLAMPS, YOU RICH BASTARD.

widowchaser
widowchaser

What I thought I would see, Oliver, in the spirit of prankdom, was you offering to post pictures of the 'work'… seeing as how we would be 'part owners' in the venture… :)

Man Le
Man Le

Well atleast you cannot say that I NEVER DONATE. Just think of that $10 US dollars as investment for your great job so far OLIVER.